Flower
The inner part that took control in moments of panic and stress. In situations that overwhelmed me and then turned me off. In most cases, it was a frantic escape. I also used her energy during sports. Since it is a feminine energy, sports exhausted me. It exhausted me all my life.
I first met her in 2025 at a seminar where we practiced according to an exact template in the morning. It made me physically and energetically sick. I wanted to dance and move according to my feelings and not like soldiers in the army. For the first time, I felt her and listened to her. The next day, I practiced yoga on the grass under an apple tree in the morning. In silence and alone. It was wonderful to feel her and let her guide me. She was happy, fulfilled, open. She sometimes appeared during therapies, but it was as if she was waiting....
In the summer of 2026, I trained on the stairs. 11 floors up and down several times in a row. The first 2 days, about the sixth run, my ovary started to hurt. I didn't know why. On the third day, a girl appeared. She was running like crazy back and forth. She didn't have time, she had to do everything. I felt sad and sick at the same time. I realized that this is my energy that has been vibrating me my whole life. Doing everything in a hurry and stress and falling from exhaustion. Mental, energetic, physical.
I felt for her and took her hands, looked into her haunted eyes and said: "Everything is fine. You can sit on the grass and just be. You can sing, lie in the sun, weave wreaths, wash your feet with water in the stream. Or you can do nothing." She nodded in agreement. I felt such relief in my body. Suddenly my feminine energy was where it should be. Now I allow myself to lie on the couch and just be, rest, do nothing. I allow myself to do only what I can do. I allow myself to pamper myself and just caress myself a few times a day.
Johnny
When I was training stairs the next day, I remembered a man who was very close to me, but we were not in contact at the moment. When I remembered, a boy in a defensive-attacking position with a spike in his hand immediately appeared. I asked him if it was necessary to attack men. All my life, this boy Johnny had been preemptively defending me from all men, even though they had done nothing to me. He learned to defend me in childhood from my father's attacks. And although this did not apply to me in my adult life, patterns were sown and damage was done. None of my relationships lasted longer than 8 years. When I asked him if he would like to use this defensive energy, for example, in sports or in the implementation of a project, he looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. I asked: "Do you want to work on the stairs and in the gym"? That day, the training on the stairs was great. My inner man gave strength, dynamism, determination to the training. The following days, the gym was a completely different experience. I trained again with enthusiasm, incorporated new exercises, increased load, and most importantly, I enjoyed training. After training, when I was resting, I kept a safe space for my inner woman. When I met a man I hadn't been in contact with for a few days, I felt my inner man. He paid tribute to my inner woman, and my inner world was calm and safe. Our meeting was on exactly the same wavelength - calm and safe.
Punk girl
She appeared out of nowhere. She just peeked out at me and hid again. A girl around 14 years old. Piercing, strong black makeup, black hair. And because I know that addressing my inner parts has always worked for me, I addressed her too. It didn't work. She hid.
About 14 days later, during therapy, I had the topic of abundance. It showed me how in my early childhood I had witnessed a big argument between adults about property. From this trauma, I took away the belief that having nothing is safe. No one will attack or threaten me. And as life went on and a woman appeared in it who robbed me, I only confirmed it and another strong belief was added: If I don't have anything, no one will envy me and steal it. My guide and I cleared old faulty patterns and uploaded new ones: having abundance is safe, having possessions is joy, receiving abundance is safe, feeding on abundance is pleasant, rejoicing in money is safe, I receive abundance with ease. As I was letting it install, she appeared. A defiant, cheeky smile on her face, arms crossed in front of her body. I immediately felt myself beginning to question all my new beliefs. I asked her, "What are you trying to say?" She looked at me with love, her arms dropped, and she told me, "You are great the way you are. You can make mistakes. You have everything you need." This encounter was so moving. I realized how I had once become afraid of everything, how I had lost the will to live. How I had lost the desire and passion to start and try new things. She showed me who I was. A wild, cheerful girl who would speak her mind. A girl who enjoys life. She wears crazy clothes when she feels like it. She shows off her belly, even if it's not perfect. She loves her hair, even if it's messy and unruly...she doesn't care about her surroundings. She lives her life. She receives and gives. She's a rebel with kindness.
P. S Each of us has the ability to establish a relationship, communicate and listen to our inner parts in our own hands. It's just a matter of stopping the autopilot in our daily actions. Listening to ourselves and having the courage to meet our inner parts. 90% of the time it can be scary, because our inner parts are really angry that we have rejected them and buried them somewhere deep so that they don't bother us. After each meeting and listening, they always give us something very important out of gratitude. The gift appears, the authenticity that we lived as children, before we barricaded that beautiful free part of us that was "unacceptable" to those around us into an imaginary dungeon that we have been pretending our whole lives it is not. And that is what takes control of our lives. It's about taking responsibility and ending the role of victim... and starting to create in harmony with our inner parts - the source that is there to support us. If we can lead ourselves, no one else can lead us or manipulate us. With our inner parts, we have everything we need: self-love, self-worth, faith in the source. With our inner parts, we are a complete being who does not have to beg for love, friendship, abundance or chase them. At the same time, we can transform their previous manipulation of us (anger, freezing in various situations) into beneficial actions (creativity, focus, rest, etc.). Now we are not controlled, we are in control of our parts and we can catch the arrival of emotion before it causes a destructive avalanche.
This song makes me feel like I can sing it to my inner parts, to my inner child. Why give that beautiful tenderness and love out to someone, when I should give it to myself first. It makes me cry every time..so enjoy this liquid love too.
